Do you love me?X

ongoing, Zurich, exhibited at International Student Biennale in Zagreb

Everytime I wake up my MacBook, it takes a picture of me. I write my thoughts about that down in a text file. An ongoing meditation about intimacy, surveillance, vanity and self-portrayal.

Do you love me?

26. May 2019:
I look at the picture every time one got taken.

29. May 2019:
I delete pictures of myself.

02. June 2019:
I am still aware that a picture gets taken. I think about it every time I touch my laptop.

06. June 2019:
I turn my laptop so the picture includes a nice background.
I eat an entire bag of chips. My laptop captured it. I feel bad afterwards.

09. June 2019:
I wonder if other applications have access to my laptop-camera.
After the shower I wrap a towel around myself before touching my laptop.

20. June 2019:
I brushed my hair before I open my laptop.

24. June 2019:
I smile at the camera.

Do you love me?

26. June 2019:
Someone else deleted pictures of themselves.

27. June 2019:
I think about how my laptop sees me, measures me, rates me without me knowing.
I think about being data in some statistic.
I wonder where in the statistic I am. Am I good?
I think about social scores.

29. June 2019:
I am annoyed when I see the green light next to the camera. I delete pictures of myself.

04. July 2019:
I don’t touch my laptop for a while so it will fall asleep. To make sure a picture gets taken. Because I really like the background.

Do you love me?

07. July 2019:
I start not opening my laptop all the way, so my face is not in the picture.

08. July 2019:
I really like one of the pictures. A friend suggests posting it on Instagram.

10. July 2019:
I held my hand against the camera when I opened my laptop.
I upload a description along with some pictures of the project to my website.

11. July 2019:
I check old pictures to look for outfit inspiration.

12. July 2019:
I tell a friend about this project and send her the program.

15. July 2019:
I talk to a friend about a method used by the police and intelligence services called radio cell interrogation. Network operators regularly provide the authorities with data records of all mobile phone numbers that were in certain radio cells at a certain point in time.

17. July 2019:
I look at the KILLYOURPHONE.COM project by Aram Bartholl from 2014 again.
I research signal blocking fleece.

Do you love me?

29. July 2019:
I show two friends a YouTube video on my laptop. They notice the green light next to the camera. I tell them about the project. They react with restraint. I decide not to show them the pictures my laptop took of them.

Do you love me?

07. August 2019:
I read some articles about self-portrayal on social media. I am very bored by it. Reading about influencers bores me.

08. August 2019:
I talk to someone about this project. He talks about Facebook. I am again very bored.

20. August 2019:
I left my phone in flight mode that day.

21. August 2019:
I use the pictures to recreate what I was doing at a certain date.

27. August 2019:
I have to send someone a portrait of me. I compare these portraits with the pictures my laptop took.

Do you love me?

31. August 2019:
I am in a bad mood and get even more angry when seeing the green camera light.

Do you love me?

5. September 2019:
I read an article on what my smartphone does all day without me really knowing. They mention backdoors and security leaks in apps which makes your data easily accessible. I recognise many of the apps and think about deleting them. I don’t.
I send that article to a friend. She does not read it.

Do you love me?

Do you love me?

16. September 2019:
A friend sends me the student biennale open call and suggests to hand in this project.

17. September 2019:
I browse through the pictures and think about other people seeing them.
I think about an article I once read about people who put all their personal data and daily life on the internet, because they think, that this will happen sooner or later anyway and in this way, they can at least do it themselves.

18. September 2019:
I forgot my laptop at work. I feel very limited.

19. September 2019:
I am not feeling well, but thinking about being photographed stops me from watching series in bed. I listen to an audiobook on my phone instead.

23. September 2019:
I will probably not wear that pair of earring again after having seen them on myself in the pictures.

30. September 2019:
I get asked why my camera is uncovered. I later send him a picture of us that my laptop took. I order a new laptop. I appologise to my current laptop.

Do you love me?

01. October 2019:
Someone else closed the cover in front of the camera.

03. October 2019:
I think about Donna Haraway’s cyborg manifesto.
I think about what skills I have without my laptop. What would my job be?

04. October 2019:
I decide to hand this project in for the student biennale.
I am not sure if I should blur other peoples faces.

Do you love me?

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